Customer "Service" Phone Service Pt. I

Comcast is now apparently watching you when you bitch on your blog, and getting free press for it from the paper of record, I might add, a paper whose customer service has declined along with their circulation. I wonder if they make the same effort when you actually call them to register a legitimate complaint? Doubtful.

Hopefully the recession will prompt companies, most of which feature feedback systems set up with the main goal of evading accountability, to evolve their service departments. It's probably cheaper to run an effective service operation than to play the games that most companies do just to mindfuck, piss off, and alienate their current customers. Here's a couple of free pointers if there are any corporations looking to better themselves.

After waiting on hold for 3-15 minutes, and after choosing from a menu of options that never seems adequate, a customer does not want to be told by the first live voice that they need to be transferred to another department. The customer, busy praying that the phone-answering party's native language skill matches the task, may be so flustered that they don't realize they have been thrown into the transfer void for their efforts. Many of these calls get disconnected. And transfer unfortunately is not an indicator of increased problem solving expertise, it's just mindless buck passing usually. Why have a menu that does not narrow down the possibilities enough so that I don't have to talk to multiple useless drones? I want to talk to precisely one useless drone.

If I am calling the New York Times for a (extremely common) delivery problem for example, I want the first fucker that picks up the phone to handle the problem. YOU contact someone else in a relevant department if you need to, and do it on your own time. Otherwise, I start looking to take my business elsewhere when I get the chance.